Welcome back!
This marks a slight departure from my established format for the blog. I've decided to post a little back-and-forth email correspondence between an anonymous friend and myself on the pros and cons of the latest and final installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises.
The language is... colorful at spots, but I think some points are made and countered.
By the by, the movie opened in July and has been out on DVD for about a month. Heavy SPOILERS from this point forward...
My friend's comments are framed by a thin, gray line on the left. Enjoy!
So, why didn't I like the dark knight rises? Hmmm, where to start...
Ok, lessee...
-too fricking long
I can get with this to a degree. Shaving a good 15-20 minutes off of this would have resulted in a much leaner movie-watching experience.
-editing and direction was too quick, which truncated a lot of the scenes which should've had some emotional impact (whether it was Bruce standing there after Selina took his car to the aftermath of Batmans back breaking).
Pretty much all of the Nolan Batman films are cut/edited this way. I can't fault him/them for this and when it's been the status quo since 2005...
-Catwoman was cool and she did a good job, but in service to the story, she was useless. We could've saved about 45 minutes without her.
-if I saw another f@cking scene with Alfred crying, I swear to God...
-Tom Hardy as Bane, while competent, was no Joker. And that stupid ass mask, combined with his Sean Connery meets Darth Vader accent just made everything hard to understand. I missed half his lines.
Bane (the character) is no Joker! As far as I'm concerned, I like Tom Hardy's take on Bane more than a lot of the comic interpretations (and I'm not even gonna mention the Batman And Robin version). The mask? Gotta have it. It's the one piece of visual iconography associated with him. I didn't have an issue with understanding him. Did you check out an IMAX viewing?
-I have never seen a Batman movie with less Batman in it. He was only on screen for 47 minutes out of 2 hrs and 42 minutes.
There's no way you knew that without looking it up later. LOL!
-Batman is not a quitter...he fights crime because crime exists. Any crime. And so if they used the Dent Act for the reason why he hung up the cape, cool. But they didn't. He hung up his cape cuz his woman got killed??? Bullshit. If anything, that galvanizes him. He hits the streets even harder. Batman exists because of the death of loved ones.
I think he stopped being Batman Because of the Dent Act. He didn't move on with the rest of his life because of Rachel. That's the difference.
And this Batman DOES quit. He's been looking for an "out" since the end of Batman Begins. He thought Harvey Dent was his out and when he wasn't and he lost both his out AND the person he thought he would share his "retirement" with, he was broken.
-Batman is not a pussy...Bane may have kicked his Bats' ass because Bane was in peak form and Batman was out of the game for 8 years...but Batman is a master at using his environment to take on and take out his opponents. He is a master at sizing up the task at hand and making decisions based on strategy...and when he saw he could not defeat Bane toe-to-toe, he would've came up with a different plan. Also, he would've used his fricking utility belt. I seen him pull out things and blow holes through walls but he can't deal with Bane??? Bullshit. He can kick through brick with his new leg brace but he can't get any traction with Bane? Bullshit.
The entire concept of braking his back is from the Batman story, Knightfall. In this story, Bane knows he cant defeat Batman toe-to-toe and so, in his systematic plan to wear down Batman and break him, spiritually and physically, one of the things he does is release all the prisoners from Arkham Asylum... Joker. Scarecrow. Riddler. Killer Croc...all of em. Batman has episode after episode of rounding these guys up to the point of physical exhaustion. And just as he's finished with the last one and goes home... Bane shows up at his crib and the fight ensues there. He beats Batman because Bats is at his lowest, energy-wise, not cause he's a pussy. They made it a show of power. Bullshit.
Well, there's NO way they were gonna do the Knightfall line verbatim. And I think Batman is at his lowest physically/emotionally/spiritually. I don't look at it as Bats being a pussy, just out of shape, out of practice and in need of a good ass-whoopin'. Just like Rocky needed to lose a father figure and take the worse beating of his career from Clubber Lang to finally see the eye of the tiger, Bruce needed to to lose Alfred and get Bane(d) in order to move to the next level.
-Alfred would never leave Bruce. Ever. If the Alfred I know ever thought Bruce was in trouble, he'd put on a suit and get out there with him! Alfred is loyal to the death. And after all that crying about "how he hasn't protected him ", he's gonna just up and book??!? Bullshit.
Well, after telling Bruce that he lied (by omission) about Rachel and her choice and Bruce saying "Goodbye, Alfred", what was he gonna do? Hang around?
-Speaking of Alfred and Bruce, they are are the ultimate researching detectives. Bats would never approach Bane without knowing everything, including his history, weaknesses and what that stupid ass mask does. That's what they do. They research and find solutions.
They did as much research as they could. They knew he was from the League Of Shadows.
-Bruce would not watch film of Bane kicking ass, sensei-style and dismiss it. He would study and watch and learn, before approaching Bane. And Batman has no ego...he wouldn't "just fight harder"...he fights smarter. I call bullshit.
The Batman in these movies DOES have an ego. In Batman Begins, he thinks he just walk right up to the head of a crime family and take him on just because he's angry. He underestimates the scope and legend of R'as Al Ghul and the League Of Shadows. In The Dark Knight, underestimates the Joker by opting to go after the gangsters rather than nipping his plans in the bud. He has a history writing off the main threat to go for the common criminal.
-Speaking of Bane, everything I thought about him was delegitimized by the "twist" at the end... I thought he had a plan, stood for something, really thought the people of Gotham needed "freeing". Then, we get the traditional "countdown to a nuclear-bomb" routine...really? Is Jack Bauer under that Batman mask? Anyway, why all the posturing and speeches and nonsense if you just gonna blow the place up anyway. WTF? Then, turns out, Bane really has no plan...he's doing it for the love of Talia Al Ghul, who just wants to finish her daddy's work? Really. Oh brother. Bane was much cooler when we thought he was the child of Ras Al Ghul and the one who got out of the pit on sheer determination, but really he was just a random prisoner that tried to protect Talia and her mom. Yawn. What a sucker.
When Bane took Bruce to the prison, he explained to him that his ultimate goal was the destruction of Gotham and that the illusion of hope was the worse kind of torture. He never intended to "liberate' Gotham, only offer them a false sense of control and hope.
-And then, Batman doesn't even defeat Bane...Catwoman does! After three months of training and all the bullshit at the prison pit, Bats was still getting ass kicked...badly. If he hadn't gotten lucky and hit that mask, Bane would've killed him for sure. Oh, I forgot...Talia totally incapacitated Bats with her 2.5 inch blade that she magically got through his body armor or was lucky enough to find an opening. Tell my again why isn't he pulling the knife out? Cuz he was so shocked? "But you gave me some nookie."
Agreed. Lame Bane death.
But he didn't get lucky and hit the mask. He was specifically going for it.
In the beginning of The Dark Knight, Bruce asks for a redesign of the suit for added mobility. Lucius explains that it'll make him more vulnerable to knives (foreshadowing).
-Oh yeah...this dude hung up his cape and his whole life and moped for 8 years but the first babe to come along and give him some nookie and now he's back to his old self ? Oh. Bro. Ther. Buh bye Rachael.
He hasn't been laid in 8 years. The end.
Kidding. This was also after Alfred had told Bruce that Rachel had chosen Harvey over him. I think he was finally allowing himself to let go (pardon the pun).
-And could the prison pit scenes be any longer or stupider? Please. Is it too late to get my money back? And don't get me started on the "Bruce climbing out" scenes. Every time he fell, I thought "didn't this guy just have a broken back? Don't the writers know, broken back or not, that a fall from that height with a rope around your body will kill you? I call, once again...Bullshiznit.
I agree with the rope/fall stuff totally.
-And geez, how'd Bane (a wanted criminal) get a plane into international air space to take Bruce to the pit? Bullshit.
With access to both Daggett's and Miranda's resources, getting on a private plane shouldn't be hard. After all, he got into Gotham didn't he?
-Bruce gots no money so after he got out of the pit (oh brother) how'd he get on a plane? And how in the eff did he get back into locked-down ass Gotham City undetected and still have time for a shave, a haircut and time to put on his eyeshadow. Bull. Shite.
This IS a stretch. But this is the same man who, at 22, left Gotham with no money or ID and infiltrated a Chinese crime syndicate. He may have a few favors he can call in (a la Kwame Kilpatrick) to get back to the States over the course of 3 weeks. Old money rich folk are never truly poor as long as they have a few friends...
-He left the Batplane on a rooftop for three to six months and NOONE saw it? Really? Bull. Shillzitty.
Who would be looking for it? Not Bane. He banished the one person who could use it to an inescapable prison.
-No city would send EVERY F@CKING COP they have into the sewers to look for anyone...especially when the city is under siege. And they surely would not all go into the same entrance. But don't worry, they will all come out looking clean as hell and healthy, right? Riiiiight.
It wasn't every cop, just most of them. Some went into hiding and I'm sure others were rounded up and sentenced to "exile".
-Matthew Modine was in this movie why?
Yes! Why?
-Speaking of Talia, what a waste of a oool character in the comics. And number-one worst death scene I've ever seen in a major release. The audience I saw it with burst out laughing. She looked like Gilda Radner.
Hey, she screwed AND stabbed the Bat! What's cooler than that? LOL!
-Catwoman had a female sidekick cause why? Were they lovers? Sisters? Did she have a name? WTF?
Totally agree. She did have a name, though...
-Why did Bane blow up the football field? The only reason, movie-wise, was cuz it looked cool in IMAX.
He blew up the football field because he knew most of Gotham would be there (including the mayor and his staff, whom he also blew up in the VIP box) including an NFL TV crew, insuring his act and "demands" were seen and heard immediately by a national audience.
-I love how they thought they'd sneak " my name is really Robin" into the proceedings. Boo.
A little corny, yes, but not a game changer.
-how come the city still looks all neat and tidy? They still picking up garbage? Cuz the streets ain't cluttered. That shit should look like Old Detroit from Robocop.
I figure it's neat and tidy because everyone is under martial law house arrest after the initial unrest.
-Wait, wait...the city is under siege, the cops are underground and there is no raping, looting and pillaging? Bullshit.
There was looting and pillaging at the beginning of the ordeal when the people threw all of the rich folk from their Park Avenue homes. Probably raping, too, but they ain't gonna show that in a Batman film...
-They set up courts to make people walk on ice?? Really?
Yep. Kangaroo court. Run by a character that is probably that, judging by his appearances in the first two films, is most likely mentally unstable.
Dude, I could go on and on...I could write a book. It was a mess.
It was awful. They should be ashamed.
Keep in mind popularity and big box office has nothing to do with quality.
It did suck.
I enjoyed it, in spite of a few missteps. Agree to disagree, my friend. =)
Well, there you have it! What are YOUR thoughts?
Be Good,
DLW
